Infamous
by Bar-Ohki
Summary: Hiei makes an attempt to marge into human life. He gets a job, an appartment, and a girlfriend. But what happens when the others find out about the infamous lady in question? HxOC Updates every Fri. and Tues.!
1. Its the End of the World as We Know It

AN: I wrote this story on a request. It's my second attempt at a romance fic, so please be nice.

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH. I don't think I ever will. So I don't think I'll be restating the obvious at the beginning of every chapter. I don't own Aoshi, though I do have permission to use her. I do not own It's the End of the World as We Know It by REM.

Claimer: I own Xeilin, Mal, Kreg Landsworth, and the concept of behind this story.

Warnings: A little OOC from all the characters. Teen parties, some fighting, strong language are the reasons why I safely rated this story PG-13. Rating subject to change.

Infamous

Chapter 1: It's the End of the World as We Know it (Kuwabara)

It's weird! Hiei's been hanging around a lot lately. I see him playing in the arcade all the time. I've seen him on the roof talking to people I like to hang out with.

But he hasn't been hanging around just me. I've seen him at the mall, buying clothes or food. One time I saw him looking at couches! Couches!? What the hell would he do with a couch!? Yet, he wants to get one….

These are the thoughts that have been plaguing my mind lately.

"-and so she walks up to him and says, 'if you want to be a mangled heap, I'll be glad to help you!'. Then the guy turns around and says, 'do you really want me to scar you for life!?'. Then he jumps up and starting doing the Hocky Pocky." Yusuke went on with his story, even though I didn't play the slightest bit of attention to him.

"That certainly would scar a person for life!" Kurama exclaimed. The three of us were eating pizza (on Kurama of course). I don't remember why we were doing this, perhaps Kurama just wanted to hang out or something.

I glanced out the window and saw the world's most disturbing sight.

Hiei was walking by the pizza parlor, wearing nice clothes and holding a bouquet of red roses. He had a dream-like look on his face, as if he was thinking of pleasures to come or something lovey-dovey like that. Lovey-dovey!? That term should not be used when describing Hiei unless you include a 'not'! But yet it was describing the look on his face perfectly. Hiei left view.

"Holy shit!" Was all I had to say.

"Kuwabara?" Kurama raised a surprised eyebrow and Yusuke just stared at me.

"Hiei! He had a bouquet! Looking all lovey-dovey like a guy who's going on a date! And it was obsessive too!" Yusuke stared at me, a bit startled.

"Oh that!" Yusuke and I turned to look at Kurama. "Hiei got a girlfriend, he was probably going to see her."

**_"Girlfriend!?"_**

"Well, Hiei was trying to understand human culture a bit better so he got a job and an apartment. The girl across the hall asked him out on a date and he decided to tag along and see what there was to see. And they've been going steady since." Kurama clasped his hands to his mouth and gave us the looked that said 'I so dead! I wasn't supposed to say anything!'. Knowing Hiei, that was the case.

"Well that does explain why I've been seeing him around lately!" I said to no-one.

"So who's the girl?" Yusuke asked Kurama.

"I don't know, he didn't say." Kurama muttered, a little afraid to say anything.

"That's it!" Kurama and I stared at Yusuke. "Let's go stalk him and find out who it is!" With that he dragged us out of the pizza parlor, leaving Kurama enough time to pay.

"He was going this way!" I pointed, knowing Yusuke would need that.

Later, at the apartment Hiei is currently staying at

Hiei took out a key chain and opened the door to room number 667. He went inside and shut the door with a small 'snap' noise. We stared at it.

**Du-du-du-dum! Du-du-du-dum! Du-du-du-dum-dum!** Came the sound of loud drums from room 666, which was right across the hall from Hiei's room.

**"That's great it starts with an earth-quake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane. Lenny Bruce is not afraid…!"** The music roared. Hiei came out of his room, still holding the bouquet.

**"OPEN UP!!"** He bellowed over the music. The door opened to reveal a tall blond with blue eyes. She looked friendly and happy. She wore a full-length purple dress, which complimented her golden blond hair. She would have looked even more stunning if her hair flowed down to her waist, but it stopped, rather disappointedly at her shoulders.

I would have taken a look at Hiei's face. But with the door open the music was even louder and sent the three of us toppling backwards.

**"Eye of a hurricane! Listen to yourself churn! World serves it's own needs, dummy sever your own needs!"** The music blasted.

"SHUT THE DAMN THING OFF!!" Hiei managed to bellow over the music. His face red from yelling. I'm surprised that he hadn't been sent into a near-by wall by the music. The girl disappeared into the room and the music came to an abrupt stop.

"God Xei! Can you stand to keep the volume down a few notches!?" Hiei raged at her. She looked him with a bit of annoyance. She reached out and pinched his check.

"I was going to practice my shooting and Mr. Landsworth doesn't like it when he can hear me banging my knees on the floor! That's why I put on loud music!" She eyed the bouquet knowingly.

"Ow!" Hiei put is free hand on his sore cheek. He handed her the bouquet and she nodded with one of the world's most impressive smiles. It was genuinely happy.

"How the hell does someone as nice as you wind up on the wrestling team?" Hiei asked her.

"I wrestled in high school to stay in shape over the winter so I could be ready for track. I got good." She gestured at something inside the room that I couldn't see. "I'm undefeated this season and I plan on keeping it that way!" She stood there, proudly.

"And you're doing to shoot in that dress?" Hiei raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"I was planning on changing then you started screaming at the door, so I answered it instead." She explained.

"If you have to play that obnoxious music, could you at least change the song? I know the lyrics to 'It's the End of the World as We Know it' by heart, and that was not something I ever intended to do!" He snapped at her.

"In life, a lot of things you don't intend to happen, do. Not everyone falls in love with the one person they've always dreamed of. I sure as hell didn't!" She stepped back into her room. "I'll listen to 'Stand' instead." She shut the door.

Hiei threw his hands into the, admitting his defeat. He sighed and went back into his room as the music began to roar.

"Something just happened their that I don't think we'll ever understand." Kurama remarked as we left the building. Yusuke and I nodded dumbly.

Later in room 666 (Aoshi)

**"Stand in the place where you live!"** The music boomed as I entered the room. Xei was on the floor practicing various wrestling moves on a dummy. That would have been making a racket if the music wasn't on. I walked over and kicked her in the leg. Then, I reached my hand out and pushed the stop button on the CD player.

**"Hallelujah!"** Hiei cried in relief across the hall. I started snickering.

"At this rate, you're gonna make my boyfriend deaf!" I teased her. She smiled somewhat stupidly from her awkward-looking position on the floor.

"He'll just have to deal then! Oh yeah! Those roses in the orangey-green vase I have over there." She pointed at the vase in question. Xei was quiet an artist, though she didn't have time to make art, she always had her intriguing works of the past lying around.

"Just like him to get me blood red roses…." I remarked.

**BAM!** The dummy hit the floor hard as Xei carelessly discarded it. She got up and grabbed a pink dress and a towel.

"Do you think Hiei will be pissed if I get to the shower before he does?" She asked me as she walked out the door.

"Yes." Xei smiled evilly and left. About two minutes later I heard a familiar cry that I had learned to love.

**"Dammit!!"** Hiei roared. He yelled like this every night at 6:03 exactly. I giggled. As he stormed down the hall and opened the door to glare daggers at me.

"You didn't stop her!" He snapped at me.

"Do you think I have a death wish?" I cocked my head at him. He entered and shut the door.

"I'd love to see her try to take on a Yokai! She may be strong, but you are a lot stronger!" He pointed an accusing finger at me.

"How many times do I have to tell you? She comes from a family of psychics! On both sides might I add!" He looked to the side.

"Hn."

"Thanks for the roses." I walked over and kissed him on the forehead. He blushed and continued to look away. "You're so cute when you pout!"

"That was not the intention, onna!" He snapped at me, turned redder. I just smiled at him. He took a few deep breaths. "I'm glad you liked them." He eyed the roses. I gave him a hug.

"You go get some sleep! I'll keep Xeilin quiet." He raised a skeptical eyebrow and left.

"My little Hiei…." I muttered obsessively to myself.

AN: Flame me, praise me. Just tell me what you think! I'm gonna be updating this every Friday and Tuesday. R&R!!


	2. I'm just a Kid

AN: Time for the Tuesday update! I hope to clarify things a bit in this chapter. FYI one of my fans requested the I wrote this story for her, so things are a bit confusing, but all will become clear soon.

Disclaimer: For the sake of things, look in the first chapter for it! I hate re-typing a little legal thing every time I want to update! I think the readers want to see the story! Because, I didn't disclaim it in the last chapter, I don't own Stand by REM. I don't own I'm Just a Kid by a band that I don't know the name of.

Infamous

Chapter 2: I'm Just a Kid (Xei)

I'm being stalked by three high school boys. I've always been considered older than I actually was and I found myself amazed by the age of my stalkers. They're younger than me!

I had discovered them when I left the apartment to go on a run. Three boys started following me. Since I was running, they were running. At first I thought it was just a coincidence, but after they followed me solid for my first mile, it wasn't. I ran into alleyways and other little spaces randomly, trying to shake them. But those boys kept on.

Even though they knew where I lived, I didn't want them following me home on the off chance that they would start stalking Aoshi. I thought of places that I could go. I could go to Mal's house and hope he didn't mind me dragging a bunch of stalkers with me. He would probably maul me, then maul them…. Bad idea.

I could continue to run and hope I run them into the ground. Wait! They've been chasing me for the past four miles and they aren't anywhere near being done. Damn, that won't work ether! Where to go?

> Switch to Yusuke's point of view

Dammit! This woman wouldn't tire! I'm about to keel over and die over here! Then again, so are Kuwabara and Kurama….

Hey! What that cop think he's doing!?

> Switch to Xei's point of view

**Beeb-be-beeb!** I looked over my shoulder to see Aoshi and Hiei in their car. Well, it wasn't a normal car, it was a cop car. The two were partners in the fight against crime. Hiei in the passenger's seat, at the computer. He was probably playing solitaire in his boredom (Aoshi told me this). Aoshi was driving the car with a large, stupid-looking smile on her face.

And that gave me an idea.

I ran to match pace with the car. Hiei was oblivious to me, Aoshi's honking of the horn, and the fact that his window had been rolled down. He was engrossed in a game of pinball. I pulled my headphones off my ears and turned the volume up to max.

"I woke up, it was seven. 'Waited 'til eleven, just to figure out that no-one would call. I think I got a lot of friends, but I don't hear from them. What's another night all alone?** When you're spending everyday on your own!"** My CD player roared. Hiei jumped when the song got loud. It screwed up his game. He snapped around and glared at me.

"What the hell to you think you are doing onna!? Are you trying to get me to shoot you!?" Hiei stuck his upper body out of the window.

"I've seen people run bikes off the road, but this is the first time I've seen a cop try to maul someone in a moving vehicle…." Aoshi remarked. Hiei was fuming. I smiled and began to laugh.

> Switch to Kurama's point of view

She must be that varsity 3000 m. runner I read about in the paper! She's keeping place with a cop car! Hiei stuck his upper body out of the cop car and yelled at his girlfriend. He was wearing the classic cop uniform. So this was his job…. But wait! He can't be driving! Who is?

> Switch to Xei's point of view

"Hey, I've got three stalkers that won't give up after four miles! Can you do something about it?" I looked at Aoshi desperately. Hiei looked back at my stalkers.

"What the f---!?" He was clearly startled. He hopped back into the car and turned to Aoshi. "Turn right as soon as you can and pull the car over!" He ordered her. She nodded and turned the car at the next corner, which I also took. Aoshi parked the car and Hiei got out, looking annoyed.

"Go off and finish your run! I'll take care of those bakas!" I nodded and ran off.

> Switch to Hiei's point of view

Damn fox! He couldn't keep his mouth shut and now the two bakas convinced him to stalk me yesterday! And the girl they thought was mine today! They are so dead!

"Well, Aoshi, you get to meet my brainless, good-for-nothing friends today." She gave me a sideways glance.

"Why are they stalking Xei?" She asked right as the rounded the corner. I glared at them.

"Hello Hiei!" Kurama looked like he knew what sort of trouble he was in.

"Hey." The other two looked like they were confused.

"Why are you stalking her?" I demanded of them. "I can fine you for that!"

"Isn't she your girlfriend?" Yusuke asked, cutting to his chase.

**"NO!!"** Aoshi bellowed and got out of the car. I backed away from her- she was scary when she was angry. "He's **_MINE_**!!" They all became very small and scared.

"Umm…Aoshi?" I asked her quietly.

"Yes?" She bounced over, happy and chipper as ever. It was as if she hadn't even just made three boys nearly wet their pants. I sweat dropped.

"I don't think we're needed here anymore. They won't be stalking anyone for a while at least…." Personally, they didn't look like they'd even be looking at girls for the next year, let alone stalking them. I heard fast paced steps from behind me. I turned around to see Xei running my way.

"I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare! I'm just a kid I know that it is not fair! Nobody cares 'cause I'm alone and the world is having more fun than me!" Xei sung as she ran by, completely oblivious as to what had happened. I stared at her, unsure what to think.

"Hey Xei!" Aoshi yelled. Xei came running back around the corner, and stood there, running in place.

"What?" She wondered.

"Hiei's mine, right?" Aoshi asked her.

"Yeah, but can you prove it?" Xei taunted her. This was their little teasing thing. But Aoshi's response caught everyone off guard, including myself.

Aoshi spun around, picked me up, and kissed me on the lips.

> Switch to Xei's point of view

I don't think Hiei really knows what love is or what you're supposed to do when you get kissed. He was shocked beyond belief, and the stalkers weren't any better off. I had told Aoshi that she would need to be slow with Hiei. I think he might not want to be around her for long bit now.

She set him down and got back into the car. "We're done here!" She yelled at him. Hiei numbly got into the car and the two drove off.

"Why are you guys stalking me?" I asked the boys on the ground.

> Switch to Aoshi's point of view

"Hiei are you okay?" He was in shock. He just stared at me. "Look, I'm sorry! Xei's been teasing me about giving you a 'proper' kiss and I just wanted to show her that I could. I know you're still getting the hang of this whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing. But it's not that hard to figure out!" He blinked a few times.

"Hn." He crossed his arms and looked out the window, now lost in thought. I sighed the moment he found out I was a demon he explained himself to me. He'd been stuck in this city on probation for a crime he committed in the Spirit Realm. He'd been working off his sentence by acting as a Spirit Detective and after having been stuck in this world, bored out of his mind, he decided that he wanted to understand the humans better. I believe that he wanted to see what humans really were because his friend Kurama explained to him that he'd wouldn't make so many stupid comments that sounded funny because of his ignorance.

"I love you! Now stop pouting!" I exploded at him. He nearly broke out of his seat belt and jumped out of the window.

"Don't scare me like that!" He yelled at me.

"Good to know you're able to respond, not that you do…." I focused on the road and he went back to his pinball game.

> Switch to Yusuke

That was embarrassing! I can't believe we thought she was Hiei's girl. When Kurama asked if we could make it up to her she had said, 'I'm a wrestler, if you would be my dummy for a few minutes, that'd be great.'. Now we were following her back to her house. We ran around the block three times to cool off before we got into the elevator to get to the sixth floor.

"You're lucky we had ran six miles, or we'd be running up to the top floor and down to my floor as a cool down!" She glared at Kuwabara, stalking her having been his idea. I'm glad that we didn't have to run stairs, the apartment had twenty floors and Xei was on floor the sixth floor at the end of the hall.

"Yeah…." Kuwabara huffed. It had been a killer run.

"You guys in high school?" She looked to Kurama for an answer.

"Yes."

"Go out for cross-country. You've got two back-to-back races in you and I think your coach would like that in a runner." She winked.

"We don't have a cross-country team!" I told her.

"I'll train you and you can be the unofficial team and cream their sorry butts! If you ran races like you ran today, you'd letter and win a good few." Xei pointed out. On our way back she had explained that she was an athlete and hoped others would follow in her foot steps.

The elevator came to a stop. We walked down the hall and entered room 666. Xei took off her sweat shirt and sweat pants to reveal a orange leotard (or wrestler's clothes). She smiled as she walked over to the stereo.

"My landlord doesn't like hearing me throw my body unceremoniously to the floor, so I out on loud music to cover it up-" She began.

" 'Unceremoniously'?" Kuwabara raised an eyebrow.

"Without grace or care." Kurama defined it quickly and Xei went on with her explanation.

"Now here's what I want you boys to do," she got into a wrestler's stance, "stand like this and let me do my moves on you. You can resist, but you cannot hit me, that's illegal in wrestling. Would you guys mind if I put on The Pirates of the Caribbean Soundtrack?" We shook our heads, we all went to see it and thought it was a good movie

"Good, now get into stance and I'll turn the music on!" I got into the position she had showed us. I discovered that it was a bit uncomfortable. The music started blasting and I found myself pretzeled on the ground. After a few agonizing seconds she released me and threw Kuwabara onto her back. In the next moment Kuwabara was being flipped onto his back by, what appeared to be, an extremely painful method (AN: using the arm bar / bar arm technique, yes I do wrestle). She got off of him after five seconds.

Kurama, she just ran him over and left him on the ground to twitch, at least that's what it looked like. "That was a good warm up!" She yelled over the music. I winced, knowing that whatever else she had in store was not going to feel great.

Two hours of senseless, unceremonious throwing to the ground later

"You're done! Go home and take a shower!" Xei all but kicked us out her apartment. My ears were ringing and I wobbled in pain. _Ba-san's_ training had been hard and it hurt, but it was nothing like the pains I felt right now. Xei certainly took her wrestling seriously. When the elevator opened, Hiei was standing their with his real girlfriend in tow.

"She used you as dummies." Hiei concluded. "You look like shit."

"Yeah…." We numbly fumbled into the elevator. Hiei's girl walked down the hall. He stayed in the elevator and sent it to the ground floor.

"Hiei?" Kurama asked him.

"I'm being a good cop and taking you guys home. None of you are in condition to walk in a strait line, let alone down a street!" He snapped. "Sheesh! You should have told her to stop when you were done with it." He rolled his eyes. The elevator reached the it's destination.

"Follow me, I'm diving you." We followed him to the garage. He filed us into the cop car. He put all three of us in the back. For some reason Kuwabara tried to open the door once we were all inside.

"Wait! I can't open the door!" He was startled.

"Kuwabara do you honestly think that we'd let a criminal open that door and get out and away? It opens from the outside only, which is a standard feature in these cars." Hiei turned on the motor and drove everyone home.

AN: Hiei's a cop, Xei's a jock, and Aoshi likes to go overboard! What could I possibly think of next? Suggestions are welcome!

Responses to my wonderful set of reviewers:

Dark-ghost42- I'm sorry about not being able to get to it. eye twitch I hope to have the next chapter up soon.

Donamarine- I hope I explained things to you. As for Jin, I'll consider that.

YYH-Yu-Yu-Hakusho-Fan- Sorry about the confusion, I hope this chapter clarified everything. If not, tell me what is confusing then I will unconfuse you.

Lady-Death-Strike550- I hope this chapter isn't like the last one. I'm trying not to be confusing!

Thank you for reviewing! I hope to see new reviewers soon! See ya Friday! R&R!!


	3. The Rain King

AN: Friday update! Today we shall meet someone new!

Disclaimer: Alright, I have a song thing going so I'll always have this stupid disclaimer disclaiming those songs! If you want the part concerning YYH, look in the first chapter. I do not own the Pirates of the Caribbean Soundtrack (well, I own a copy, but I don't own the copyright). I do not own The Rain King by Counting Crows. I do not own DDR or any of the songs I'm quoting off that.

Infamous

Chapter 3: The Rain King (Hiei)

They always talked about taking confused children home in training, but I never thought that my first experience with doing that would be taking my friends home. I chuckled as I remembered the reactions when I took those idiots home.

__

-:-:- Flashback to Kuwabara's House -:-:-

I pulled the car over and leaned over the seat. 'We have arrived at Chez Kuwabara!' I announced. Kuwabara grunted and tried to open the door…again.

'Help?' He asked. I sighed and got out of the car. I opened the door and shut it before Yusuke could get out. I helped Kuwabara up to the door.

**Ding-dong!** Hn. Standard chime.

Shizuru opened the door and just about had a fit.

'Holy shit! Kazuma! What the hell did you do!? Out drinking with Urameshi!? You're lucky it was me! And not Mom and Dad!!' She grabbed him and was about to pound him into oblivion when I politely coughed. She turned her rage at me only to quell it.

'Kuwabara here got himself into a state of serious mangled-ness from sparing with a varsity wrestler. Since he was incapable of walking home safely on his own, I took him home. The wrestler in question is a friend of mine.' I bowed respectfully. Shizuru nodded.

'Don't you scare me like that again!' I left before things got messy. The last thing I needed was to have to arrest Shizuru for child abuse.

Once I was backing the car I drove Yusuke home. I took him up to his apartment and before I rang the doorbell Ausuko answered.

'I'm sorry about him. You poor guys have to take him home every other day….' Ausuko grabbed her son and dragged him into the room. 'Here's your tip.' She handed me a beer and shut the door. Behind the door I heard her ask Yusuke what he did this time. I headed back to the car.

'Hiei, what's with the can?' Kurama asked pointing at my 'tip'.

'It was a tip from Ausuko. Apparently Yusuke gets taken home by cops more often than most. So Ausuko gives them a can of beer for their trouble.' I shock my head and set the beer in the cup holder. I didn't drink and nether did Aoshi. Xei's boyfriend did though….

It wasn't long before we arrived at Kurama's. 'Here we are.' I let him out of the car. Kurama had been in the best condition of the three, merely because he actually tried to not get hurt. We walked up to the porch and I rang the doorbell. Shiori answered and immediately went into panic mode.

'Officer?' She was startled.

'Ma'am, your son had been helping a varsity wrestler practice and afterwards was found himself in no condition to walk home safely. So he asked me to drive him home. Your boy has done a great act of community service and shown good judgment.' I bowed and let Kurama into his house. He gave me an appreciated nod.

'Was it an inconvenience?' Shiori asked.

'No! Not at all.' I said quickly. I bowed and walked back to the car.

-:-:- End of Flashback -:-:-

I stared at the can of beer. I can't believe that Ausuko actually tipped cops with beer, she'd get herself arrested for that if she wasn't careful. I pulled the car into the garage and walked up. Once I got on my floor I was greeted with Xei's music.

**"When I think of Heaven, (deliver me in a black-winged bird), I think of flying down into a sea of pens and feathers and all other instruments of faith and sex and God; in the belly of a black-winged bird." **The music boomed. I sighed and bashed my fist against the door in an attempt to be heard.

**_"Turn down your Goddamn music!!"_**

---- Switch to Mal's point of view inside room 666 ----

**_"Turn down your Goddamn music!!"_** Hiei bellowed as he pounded his fist against the door. I turned the music down and Xei gave me a disappointed look.

"He's gonna be deaf at this rate! Let the poor man sleep." I scolded her. She rolled her eyes. Hiei opened the door.

"Here." He put a can of beer in my hand. I stared at it. "You're the only person I know who drinks that isn't underage."

"This is crappy beer." I remarked. Yet I opened it up and took a sip. "Where'd you get it?"

"It was a tip for taking Urameshi home." He shrugged and left the room. I turned back to Xei who had turned her music off completely.

"And I could believe that I'm bound to find, a better life than I left behind." She sung softy. Xei was sitting there, smiling. "And I certainly did!" I bent over and kissed her.

"Dammit!" I muttered.

"Oh?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I love you!"

"Good!" She exclaimed.

--- Switch to the next day, at the arcade (Kuwabara) ---

Yusuke had invited Hiei and his girl down to the arcade. The two had walked in holding each other's hands. They were smiling evilly. I didn't get it until Xei came in, glomped onto the shoulder of Mal Downclave, football all-star. He was large and sturdy. with short red hair, and hazel eyes. He had a big smile on his face and it was rather oblivious that she was _his_ girlfriend.

"Hiya!" Xei called, bouncing. "Hey do you know where the DDR machine is?" She asked me. I numbly pointed. Xei pranced over and began to dance.

"Baby you're all that I want, when you're lying here in my arms. I'm finding it hard to believe, we're in heaven." The machine chanted as Xei danced. She was quiet good at the game and was probably going to set a high score. Mal was standing next to the machine watching her, with little hearts in his eyes.

"Hn. Just like her." Hiei remarked. He was about to walk off when his girlfriend pointed at another machine.

"Oh! I wanna play that one!" She drug him over to play some tennis game with her. I looked over at Yusuke, who had just got in.

"She's got Downclave wrapped around her finger!? No wonder she's not Hiei's girl!" Yusuke remarked when he looked at Xei.

"I'm not wrapped around her finger!" Mal stormed over, obliviously he heard us.

"Umm…." Yusuke said, he knew he was going to be pounded.

"Hey Mal! Get over here and DDR with me!" Xei yelled. Mal ran over.

"But I suck!" He whined.

"You're a hell of a lot better than Jaganshi, now get over and play!" Yusuke and I looked at each other when she said that.

"Hiei plays DDR?"

Hiei sighed. "Yes." Isn't that the weirdest thing? Kurama came in.

"Did I miss something?" He wondered.

"You missed everything!" Xei exclaimed as she danced to Twilight Zone. Another AAA, got that woman is good! Kurama stared at her.

"Okay…." Kurama sweat-dropped.

"Arggh!" Hiei yelled for no apparent reason. Then I looked at the game. She had beat the living sought out of him.

"Want to have a rematch?" Hiei's girl asked evilly. I should really figure out her name….

"No, Aoshi, no." Hiei answered her.

"You're no fun!" She pocked him.

"Do I look like someone who is fun?" He remarked.

"You do, you short DDR-dunce!" Mal taunted. Hiei stormed over.

"You wanna bet!?" Hiei yelled at him.

"You children can play after I'm done with Burning Heat." Xei went about dancing and Mal tried furiously to keep up. 'Tried' key word in that sentence.

After Xei danced her name down for getting the 1st place high score, Mal and Hiei began their competition.

"Knock him dead and I'll buy lunch." Xei promised Mal.

"You beat him and I won't tell our little 'secrete'." Hiei went wide-eyed when she said that.

And so the competition began. Whatever 'secrete' Hiei he didn't want it known because he got solid AA's. He found himself dancing in his name for 3rd place.

"Good job Hiei!" Xei knocked him over, slapping his back. She tuned to Mal. "Lunch!" She cried and Mal began to lead her away.

"What secrete?" Yusuke asked Hiei.

"Hn."

"Come on, Hiei! We're your friends, certainly you aren't going to be hiding things from us." Kurama pointed out.

"Hn!"

"Come on shrimp! Show that you can take it like a man!" I taunted him.

--- Switch to Yusuke's P.O.V. ---

Kuwabara had just made a big mistake. Hiei hit him in the back of the head, sending him to the ground.

**_"Hn!!"_**

"The world will never know. Just like the Tootsie Pops lick thingy!" Aoshi remarked.

"It takes 150." Xei pointed out. "I got bored and counted one time." She had called this over her shoulder as she and Mal left.

"How does she listen to music that loud and hear whispers across a noisy room!?" Hiei wondered.

"This is Xei, the normal laws of physics don't apply." Aoshi pointed out.

AN: There you are! I'm open for suggestions for dating and stuff! R&R!!


	4. My Most Beautiful

AN: Tuesday Infamous update! Please excuse the short chapter, me have no ideas. I would worship a inspired reviewer if they planted one idea in my head. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I don't own 'My Most Beautiful' by REM. I'm a big fan of REM….

Infamous

Chapter 4: My Most Beautiful (Hiei)

We were driving to Yusuke's school to give a presentation on being safe. It was a basic spiel that I had memorized out of boredom one lonely day at the station. I leaned back and continued to play on the 'solitaire' thing. There are about there things humans got right: sweet snow, pepper spray, and 'solitaire'. I had plans for the extra pepper spray I had gotten from the chief. Kuwabara will never touch Yukina again!

Aoshi was messing with the radio. Not that I cared, though I was technically supposed to be doing that. She smiled when she found the station of her choice.

"I found a way to make you, I found a way! A way to make you smile. I read bad poetry into your machine; I save your messages, just to hear your voice. You always listen carefully to awkward rhymes-" The radio sung softly, I interrupted it.

"Turn it off! Xei was listening to this last week!" I moaned.

"I want to hear it! It's symbolic!" Aoshi retorted.

" 'Symbolic'? You know such large words?" I pretended to be stunned beyond belief.

"Come on! I'm in a 400 level English class! I think I would know what that word meant!" She snapped. I took this opportunity to change the station.

"Now sweet! You're so sugar sweet. You may as well have had kicked me. Listened on your sleeve. You know what you are, you're gonna be a star! You what you are, you're gonna be a star!" The radio sung.

"Argh!" I reached to change the station again.

"Not a REM fan by choice are we?" Aoshi asked me mockingly.

**_"No!"_** I flipped the station.

"I wanna be the Minority! I don't need you authority! Down with the moral Majority, 'cause I wanna be the Minority! I pledge allegiance to the underworld, one nation under dog; there of which I stand alone. A face in the crow, unsung, against the mold. Without a doubt, singled out- the only way I know!"

"Now this is a song I can stand…." I remarked.

"Greenday, hmm?" Aoshi raised an eyebrow. I sweat dropped, she had something a bit unexpected planed for me.

Thankfully we pulled into the school's parking lot before much else could happen. Aoshi shoot me an interesting glace and got out of the car.

"Aw crap! Its the cops here to bust us!" Some random kid with a cigarette exclaimed. Yusuke was sitting right next to him. Yusuke looked over his shoulder, in a non-caring manner.

"Oh that guy's a friend of mine, he won't bust us. Though I can't say the same for his partner…." Yusuke gave Aoshi a questioning glance.

"She wouldn't but I would!" Xei poked Yusuke in the small of his back, sending him jumping into the air. I sighed. Xei was going to poke the wrong guy one of these days and I prayed that Koenma had arrangements for that poor soul. "Hi!!" She bounced on her feet. "I'm hear to give a speech on ladies in wrestling! I hope you're there, 'cause I'll need a partner!" She pranced over to where me and Aoshi stood.

"Oh! The stupid safety spiel that no-one ever listens to! Good luck!" She jumped away. "Swing a little more, little more, little Mary- oh! Swing a little more next ta me! Swing a little more, little more, little Mary- oh! Swing a little more on the Devil's Dance Floor!" Xei sung happily.

Hiei and Aoshi sweatdropped.

"Oh God what have I just walked into?" Hiei asked the sky.

AN: Like I said, I'm having a bit of writer's block. If you have any suggestions, let me know. R&R!!


	5. Headstrong

AN: Infamous update! Yah-who!!

Disclaimer: I do not own All the way to Reno by REM (the second song in the last chapter), Minority by Greenday (last song on the radio in the last chapter), or Devil's Dance Floor by Flogging Molly (the one Xei was randomly singing). I do not own Headstrong by Trapt.

Infamous

Chapter 5: Headstrong (Xei)

"Hello! I'm Kinal Xeilin, but you can just call me Xei!" I began my speech. "As most of you know, I'm a varsity athlete in Cross Country running, Wrestling, and Track. Now I'm here to talk about females on the mat. And I mean the wrestling mat." I went on to explain the advantages of being female. "For one thing, females are a helluva lot more flexible than boys." To pin the point in their heads I did the splits. "Most guys cringe when they watch me do this and others are jealous. Flexibility keeps bruises and aches at a minimum." I hopped up and scanned the crowd. Hiei was sitting in the back next to Aoshi. He didn't appear to be impressed with my demonstration. I smiled evilly as I cooked up a plan in my head.

"I would like for Officer Jaganshi to come down and help me demonstrate my next point!" I held out my hand to him. He stared at me with 'why in the seven rings of Hell should I go down there and help you?' look on his face. "Officer Jaganshi happens to live across the hall from me. He is often my practicing partner," I coughed, "dummy." I coughed again. "Man, I mustn't go running in the rain so often! Anyway, since he's the only one here with any real mat time, I'd appreciate it if he'd come on down!" Aoshi told him something. He glared at her and came on down.

"What do you want onna?" He was unhappy, as usual.

"Turn around and face the crowd." He complied. "Now everyone watch closely! Here's what lack of flexibility does to you!" I grabbed him up into a bar arm and proceeded to flip him over. Hiei's face expressed agony. "Jaganshi here is not flexible! If he was, he wouldn't be in pain right now! Now I am flexible! I will have him do the same move on me and I will not be in pain!" I let Hiei off the ground.

"You're dead, onna." I let him have a bar arm. He began to attempt to make me hurt. I resisted without pain or suffering. After I let him flip me over I broke free of his grasp, trying to show flexibility the entire time.

"Well that was fun! Thank you Officer Jaganshi! For both my presentation and keeping our city safe!" I bent over and whispered to him, "that's your cue to go back to your seat." He stormed away. "Another thing about being female, means that you are headstrong! And I mean the song by Trapt!" I hit the CD player behind me.

**_"Back off, I'll take you on! Headstrong, to take on anyone! I know that you are wrong! Headstrong, we're headstrong! Back off I'll take you on! Headstrong, to take on anyone! I know that you are wrong, and this is not where you belong!"_** I hit the CD player off.

"We wrestlers consider Headstrong to be our theme song. Because we're headstrong! Now females have been proven to be more headstrong than males because eh beginning we do a lot more losing. But after we win our first match, we stop losing and we- _take- them- down!!_" The crowd started clapping. "Thanks for letting me be here today!" I waved and walked off the stage. Hiei stared at me. He sure does that a lot….

"You had to use music!" He glared at me. I smiled.

"That's me being me!" He shook his head at me.

"Could you be remotely normal for two seconds?" He wondered.

"If I really felt like it, but I don't!" Aoshi grabbed Hiei and drug him to the stage before he could make a come back.

----Switch to Hiei's POV----

Damn Xei…. Well, at least she didn't make me do the splits or something really inhumane during her presentation. Aoshi walked up to the mike.

"You'll have to excuse my partner, he's not one for public humiliation." She began.

"Serves him right!" Kuwabara yelled from somewhere in the crowd. I'll settle that with him later….

"We were told to come here and gave you students the same lecture on safety that you hear every single year. And I'm guessing that you guys think its boring, because, it _is_ boring. I fall asleep giving it, thankfully by that time the rest of the crowd is asleep so we all take a nap and no-one notices. So instead of boring ourselves my partner and I, along with the help of Kinal-san. Kinal-san, could you come down please?"

Xei ran over. "Hello again!" She waved vigorously at the crowd. I hid my face behind my hand. It was going to be a _looong_ day. The crowd laughed.

"Of course Kinal-san is all for public humiliation…." Aoshi added humorously. The crowd laughed again. "Now Kinal here will be an innocent passer-by. Hiei will be a evil man with bad intentions-"

"Isn't that a bit redundant?" I asked her.

"I did not ask the peanut gallery for their opinion. I'll ask your opinion later." She snapped at me.

"Whoever said the peanut gallery wouldn't be an obnoxious Interrupting Cow? 'Cause no-one around here did!" Xei remarked. The crowd burst out into laughter. Aoshi sighed.

"Anyway!" The crowd got quiet again. "I'll be the wonderful cop that I am-"

"Don't you mean you'll be my cop in," Xei paused as she came up with something. It was going to be disturbingly creative, whatever it was, "a nicely pressed uniform with shinny brass buttons?" People in the crowd fell out of their chairs, laughing too hard.

"Please, people! We have a short bit of time! We will now start the skit. The first time we will have me come in-" Xei cut her off.

"-Magically because scenarios like this don't happen in real life!-" Aoshi interrupted her before the students could start laughing again.

"-And save her sorry butt! Then we will repeat the scene, but this time Xei will use the safety stuff and get herself out of that situation. Let's begin!" Aoshi walked over to the corner of the stage. Xei knelt down in the middle of the stage and I just stood where I was.

"La la la! I'm a little kid innocently doodling with sidewalk chalk on the sidewalk! There is a dark, scary alley with an evil man inside to me left! But I continue to draw because I don't listen to my mommy when she told me to stay away from the alley! Now I'm a gullible little girl! Oh woe is me! I could be kidnapped because I'm pretty and my daddy has lots of money!" Various students started snickering at her unrealistic-ness. I decided to follow her lead.

"I am an evil man. I want to do bad things to innocent children whose parents make a lot of money. I am armed with a knife-" Xei interrupted me.

"-That's invisible because in this over-acted improvisation skit we have magic!" Xei exclaimed while a few people started laughing. I glared at Xei. Then I smirked, if she wanted to play with that rule I could be quiet a bit more than is intended.

"Yes, it is invisible. Because I am evil, I laugh evilly, which gives away my presence, but that little girl is too absorbed in her fun to notice." I crackled manically. Multiple people had to actively keep from laughing. I walked over.

"Hey little girl, want some candy?" She looked at me and smiled.

"My mommy said I'm not supposed to talk to strangers or take candy from them, but I am gullible and have no respect for my mom. I will take your candy!" He handed me air. "Wow! Invisible candy!" I turned to the crowd and set my hand on my cheek to 'block' the sound.

"Little does she know I filled it with drugs that will knock her out and make her forget." The crowd started laughing.

"Wait!" Aoshi leaped over and took the "candy" from Xei. "That candy was poisoned!"

"I thought it was filled with drugs…." said Xei and three people in the crowd.

"Oh no! It is the law enforcement lady with a nicely pressed uniform and shinny brass buttons! She has come to the innocent child's rescue! Oh no! I must do something about her before my evil plan is foiled! I know! I shall call upon the imaginary forces of magic to make her-" Xei smiled mischievously and interrupted me.

"-make her fall head over heels for you sot that she doesn't want to stop and can join you in your evilness!" A few people gasped.

"Oh no! You have cast a spell on me!" Aoshi ran around in circles while various students in the crowd hooted from the floor. Aoshi turned rather randomly and kissed me.

Silence.

I made a note to kill Xei after this was all said and done.

"What do you want me to do handsome?" Aoshi asked me.

"That was disturbing! I shall stab you with my invisible knife because I don't love you and I don't want you randomly kissing me!" I made a move to stab her and Xei grabbed my hand.

"My dad's an ex-monk! I can marry the two of you!" Xei continued with an evil expression on her face.

"Oh will you?" Aoshi asked.

"I shall uncast my spell!" I cried, not wanting to continue this madness.

"But I, the innocent little girl, unknowingly puts up a shield that prevents you from doing so!" I thought of anything that could stop the torture. My eyes landed on the CD player.

"I call upon the evil demons of music!" I hit play and prayed that it was something appropriate.

**_"When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone. When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on. Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes._**

"Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along, when your day is night alone. If you feel like letting go, when you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on." The music blasted. My eye twitched.

"That's right! Everybody hurts! Now you many kiss the groom, if you can catch him to do so…." Apparently Xei had gone on with the wedding, despite the musical interruption. Aoshi began to run after me.

"Come back here my love!" She cried as I ran about trying to avoid her. I leaped into the crowd and blotted for the door. Aoshi hot on my heels.

"Get away from me!" I screamed as I ran out the door.

----Switch to Xei's POV----

After the two lovebirds left I coughed into the microphone. "Since the Officers have left the building, I'll give you all a lesson in self-defense, because I'm an Akido Black Belt!"

----Switch to Hiei's POV----

She had chassed me to the car and was now panting.

"God you run fast!" She remarked. I checked on the assembly.

"Xei's covered for us, let's high tail it back to the station! I don't want to be humiliated by that psycho you live with!" I opened the door and got into the car. Aoshi sighed and turned it off and drove us back.

"You wanna kiss again?" She asked me playfully.

"Hn."

AN: I just realized I got my update days confused so I'm swapping with The Swabbies. Anyway, I you want this humor to continue, give me an idea and encourage me to write! Anyway! R&R!!


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